Unstuck Me. Grief series

Unstuck Me Grief series   This is a time in the year of reflection for many.  For me its holidays and anniversaries and birthdays;  and the passing of many family members throughout the year t…

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Unstuck Me. Grief series

Unstuck Me

Grief series

 

This is a time in the year of reflection for many.  For me its holidays and anniversaries and birthdays;  and the passing of many family members throughout the year that bring me to reflect on the past. I get past the one grief after  a year and two more family members or friends pass the next year.

One can have utter grief and compound grief and delayed grief reactions.  What I do know from a patient I once had ; if you skip any stages you wont completely get through the grieving process;  you become stuck.

Its the revisitation that brings grief to the surface so quickly. Sometimes it can be a song or a smell or the way someone says a particular word. It can be anniversaries and empty spaces at the table that bring them  to mind ; and the realization of how much our special someone is missed. Dont avoid those situations as they will eventually become your comforts.

Grief doesnt skip particular people ; it knows no boundaries. It can happen at any age 5,6, 16  or 46 ; it doesnt matter to grief and trauma.  I once received a call to do mental health nursing on a 16 year old quadraplegic car accident victim ; who lost her whole family and now was suicidal ; but was quadraplegic so completing suicide wouldve been tough.  I did hear a few years later she did go fulfill her dream of college and became an artist. Shes a young woman now and has a spouse. Dreams of the future and the new norm being ok got her through.And faith lots of faith  that things will be better tomorrow.

I wanted to explain grief to someone who has never experienced loss of a loved one or a beloved pet or even a job or a relationship.   Grief is a profound physical and emotional  feeling related to sorrow about the loss. An intense feeling of sadness related to and surrounding that loss itself. Grief  feelings can be overwhelming and incapacitating. Seek support from loved ones around you and friends who will listen if thats what you need. Seek support groups from those who have come out the other side with insight.  Many walk the grief shuffle and understand; its still a personal journey as each loss and method of trauma is different for anothers.

From a survivor of utter grief I have lost many recently as cancer is in both sides of my family. Particularly bad time overcoming grief;  was when we lost 7 family and friends within a 2 yr period. It was rough  because you d deal with one loss  and were hardly over it  then were bombarded with much more losses close together.

 

Grief has no time frame ; it can take an year, but lean into the grief;  it is where you ll gain the coping skills ; and lean on others who have been through the grief process. I have leaned to a support group called Griefshare ; held at a local church ; also Psalms is a huge help and Im not a religious sort. Faith can get you through but leaning onto to it is a must ; like trusting a good friend also a good remedy.

 

Til next time my friends

I ll keep writing about grief until Im well and can finish my book on Overcoming grief

xo

Bren Anne

Brenda Bondy Caldicott

Bren Anne began her professional life as a PSW. She filled that caregiver role for 15 years before putting her talent in communication to use as VP for the Ontario Personal Support Worker Association. In her time representing the OPSWA, she was a member of LHIN, and also took on management, educator, and public relations roles as Communications Liaison and Board Chair. Her responsibilities included fundraising, facilitating on curriculum,working on policy and best practices for Healthcare Initiatives
Bren Anne was instrumental in collaborating with Stakeholders about PSW roles in the workplace and was passionate about mentoring new graduates.
She’s also extremely experienced in the not for profit and charitable sectors, sitting on the Board of Directors in 3 Organizations. She also spends a lot of time volunteering, as well as working as an Advisor on a referral basis.
These days, Bren Anne maintains an extensive collection of corporate connections and is skilled in obtaining sponsorship’s, memberships, whether it is a health care initiative or event planning. She spends her time writing blogs and articles for healthcare websites , mentoring new grads, collaborating on healthcare or mental health initiatives internationally.
She also works as a public relations expert, a publicist and promoter, with a specialty niche working with musicians (music is a passion of hers!) As well as working with entertainment companies to place musicians in venues and festivals, she is also a creative – a songwriter and lyricist currently in collab with a Juno award winning singer songwriter.
Bren Anne is also Public Relations Advocate Specialist for the Cauda Equina  Foundation; that through research and advocacy affects changes for patients and at present serves over 30 countries.

Bren Anne is available to take new projects. To discuss, contact her at bbondy2@hotmail.com

Musicians who want success and want their buzz heard hire PR experts

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Bren Anne Public Relations and Marketing can help musicians connect with a wide ranging audience to get the buzz out about their project or gig like never before.

PR experts reach a vast audience with leveraging of their years of connections.  With the advances in media today also social media management is paramount ; especially to a young musician.

Today we can instantly drop a plethora of information about your band or event to a certain demographic ; be it Nationwide or Internationally.

Data compiling and research,social media management, press kits are what our PR can do for you , get your gig heard by more fans or even talent scouts.

Our prices are affordable and the value a PR brings to any project is endless.

Contact us at bbondy2@hotmail.com

Cheers
Bren Anne Public Relations and Marketing

PR/Marketing and why it works

pr

Bren Anne Public Relations and Marketing

PR and Marketing includes utilizing  networking and resources with a wide reaching audience .  Relationships and contacts leverage the advertising and type of media being shared; to affect maximum communication with your select audience’s needs.

This gives the musician, producer, investor,inventor, teacher,lawyer,author ‘what have you’ , an edge.  Where clients can more effectively control which media will be reached by which demographic; with efficiency and thus
providing maximum coverage.

It also provides an intimate approach to discussing an idea or a product or a promotion of an item to these groups.
It shows that the client or product who is represented in said media has more detailed data to present than a traditional print on glossy ad would offer.

Research and data compiling is also a PR ‘perk’ , but is time consuming and is not free nor is a PR Specialist.  It can be pricy; but improving business and reach out provides endless benefit.

Nowadays with the ever changing social media many PR services can include updating profile pages, adding content to a user’s page. And many times it involves sharing it to relevant markets and bigger audience sites to reach a wider audience.

 

 

bbondy2@hotmail.com

http://www.brenanne.com

The PR Specialist works for your maximum reach.

Suddenly caregiver at home to spouse with life altering injuries and rare conditions

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As I write this today, I still feel like I’m writing someone else’s story. I’ll call it,
“Health Care Worker suddenly becomes Primary Care Giver”.
We all relate to hearing stories about someone with Sciatica. Well, for 2 months my hubby worked with it, knowing he’d likely need time off if it was going to be a long time until it resided.

One day, the pain after working all day became excruciating. We went to our trusted massage pain doctor. He informed us he’d be calling an ambulance if we didn’t take ourselves to the ER and that my hubby would need emergent surgery.

We were shocked to hear that. We didn’t even have our coats with us or our affairs in order back home, yet we were rushed to Toronto, as they explained to us that a Spinal Compression was causing the weakness and onset of paralysis. They had a short window of time to minimize nerve damage, but that window had long passed as he had worked for weeks with the pain.

Since that weekend I’ve been his primary care giver. He has permanent bowel and bladder paralysis, and is at risk of falls (and has already had a few), and he also now has foot drop, not to mention constant nerve pain and exhaustion. Depression set in autonomically because of the signals being messed up, and also because he’s 42 and forced into not being able to work.

He also has autonomic dysfunction and has had a few scary attacks. His blood pressure is a problem, as well as his passing out at times.

We’ve had little support, if any, from doctors here. We’ve just had visits to the Neurologist in Toronto.

I’ve had no help. As primary care giver I can’t work very long as Im needed at home. There are many tests still to come, as well as rehab sessions in order to learn to function with what’s left after Spinal Injury. So, I’m caregiver at home and not in the community any longer.

Like hubby, as we go through this together I too feel less than useful at times, but somehow it’s where I need to be. I feel empathy for anyone going through disability, especially an invisible one as there is so much judgement to face and little financial help offered. One day you’re working and have sciatica, or so you thought. Then, voila! You’re two days from the wheelchair but can luckily still walk, though only slowly, carefully and painfully. Invisible paralysis has set in.

Even the doctors don’t know a lot about Cauda Equina Syndrome or Conus Medularis Syndrome .

I don’t quite absorb what the tests will do, as there is no cure for Spinal Cord Injury.

We’re hopeful that someday they will find a way to regenerate damaged nerves.

And we are thankful for every day without an attack of autonomic dysfunction, and for family. We educate friends who have sciatica. If you experience numbness or paralysis do all in your power to make someone listen to you. The spinal canal is your whole nerve system. If the root nerves are damaged, that will affect everything. Even sleep dysfunction is common.

Be an advocate for your own health. Continue to make doctors and loved ones listen to you during your sciatica recovery so that no stone goes unturned. It is life changing. I’ve seen this throughout my hubby’s struggle with disability and depression. There’s an element of grief that comes with the sudden loss of friends, loss of independence, loss of thoughts and dreams for the future, loss of security, etc.

Thanks for listening.

People are curious as they don’t often know about this issue. Many don’t believe it could happen to them. I’m here to say that if your disc ruptures into your spinal canal, it’s that quick and can happen to anyone.

Brenda Bondy-Caldicott
Caregiver, Writer, Educator, Public Relations Manager